The Diary of Bridgette Winters
by MediocreSalesman
Summary: During Total Drama Island, Bridgette kept a secret diary to document all her secrets and feelings during the competition. This is that diary.


Entry 1

Dear Diary,

Today is my first day participating on Total Drama Island. It's moments like this that I'm glad my last name isn't Jones. Since my parents gave me this to document the contest, I may as well use it.

My team, the Killer Bass, may have lost the challenge, but I think that was a blessing in disguise, since we were able to eliminate that sexist home-schooled boy, Ezekiel. Maybe it wasn't his fault entirely - just the way he was raised - but I can't stand that type of offensive language. It's making me angry just thinking about it. No, calm yourself Bridge. Remember your meditation.

The rest of the team seems cool I guess. Courtney seems like she could be a friend, Sadie and Katie are nice enough, but Eva... Well we'll see how that goes. With the guys, Tyler's alright and DJ's super awesome, dude loves his animals. Harold is... Well...

And that just leaves Geoff and Duncan. Geoff's been kinda strange around me, and that's cool. It's adorably endearing, in a weird way. I think he likes me, he's not the first guy to act like that with me. But Duncan. I don't know how I feel with him. He's mean, cruel and just all round bad-tempered and angry. But there's something alluring about him. Maybe it's the way he looks, maybe it's that sarcastic little smirk, maybe it's that screw-authority attitude, but I can't think straight with him. I just... Argh...

Alright, Courtney says I need the light off now.

Night,

Bridge

Entry 2

Dear Diary,

Today marks our second challenge. The "Awakeathon". I wish I didn't suck at it as badly as I did, but, hey, I did what I could, and that's what matters. The problem was that we lost again.

It wasn't hard choosing a member to vote off. Eva freaked out and started throwing all the decor at us. I think we all voted for her. No contest. I feel kinda guilty, but I don't know why. I mean, she didn't do too badly in the challenge but she was a total psycho...

Speaking of psychos, I got to see what some of the other team were like. Most of them seem alright too, but Heather. I hate to say anything bad about people, but she is real trouble. She's convincing Lindsay and Beth to work for her. They aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer, so I can see her staying quite a while, sadly.

Geoff hasn't tried to act on his obvious emotions yet, but give him time. Duncan continues to annoy and intrigue me. He was the last camper standing on our side, even if we did lose, and I have to admire that. But then he goes and pulls a prank on Harold, and I lose some respect.

He gave me his little smirk when we were the first two to receive marshmallows, and I'm glad no one caught that or my blush.

What am I going to do?

Night,

Bridge

Entry 3

Dear Diary,

Wow. Just wow. We finally won a challenge! Dodgeball, at that! And it was all thanks to Duncan and Harold. It's nice having no one to vote off for the first time. The others eliminated Noah, because he didn't participate in the challenge. It's not my say, but I do agree.

Harold did a good job today. Everyone did, really. Thanks to Duncan's "Prison Tactics" we could actually do well in this one, because... Well, I've never really been great at dodgeball. Luckily it wasn't just me, I guess.

Harold put in that game-winning catch, and it was such a rush, I nearly kissed Duncan. Now I can't stop thinking that was a missed opportunity. All these emotions are still just running around my head. Like, Geoff still stares, and Duncan seems to like Courtney. Ugh, it's all coming apart.

No, no. I can do this. I am strong. I can overcome this. I can deal with heartbreak. Heck, it's not heartbreak, is it? We barely know each other! If he wants Courtney? Psh, forget it! Geoff wouldn't be hard to love. He's cute. I can live with this. Duncan who? I don't care.

I'm an awful liar...

Bye,

Bridge.

Entry 4

Dear Diary,

We won again! Twice in a row! That's promising, but, again I sucked, and again Harold won it for us last second. Before I discuss that: Justin got eliminated. Now, I know it should have been Heather. I think I'd rather get eliminated early than have to go up against her, especially having a Diary of my own.

Today's problems begin with me, as always. I messed up my 'talent'. How hard is standing on your head? Anyone as athletic as me can do that. And yet I messed it up, and puked up all over the place, destroyed Courtney's violin and almost ruined our entire challenge. If it wasn't for Harold, I would be going home by now...

No. No tears. I can't cry. I've nothing to cry about. It's not like I messed things up with Duncan. Or I messed things up with Courtney. Or Geoff or anyone. Well, I didn't mess up that last one. Thank you Harold.

Thinking of his beat boxing is making me happier. And that's good. Maybe I'll keep that as a happy place for now.

Don't let anyone see your despair. You're the sunny one of the team. Smile. The world expects it of you. You are their face. The smiley happy cheerful face. Go Bridge!

Yeah, that's better.

Night,

Bridge

Entry 5

Dear Diary,

A camping trip. Real original Chris. And I still managed to mess up. I'm such an idiot! Thank you Sadie and Katie for getting lost. No, that was mean. I didn't mean that. Sorry...

First, what was up with Geoff? I pitch a tent like a guy? Was that flirting? Probably. Wasn't very good flirting. That's what kind of lead to me messing up. Duncan had to go tell his 'scary story' thanks to Geoff provoking him. Actually, he was probably going to tell it anyway.

Of course Courtney is up to confront him afterwards and at the slightest noise she leaps into his arms. I almost jumped up and slapped her, all "That's my man!"-like. But I let it slide, and kept as close to him as possible, which of course backfired.

While we were all trying to sleep, I was so uncomfortable. He was so close to her. Too close. DJ noticed. He's a great guy, and such a good friend, but darnit, then was not the time. Because now I have to lie that I need to pee, get out of the tent, and knock a flaming hot coal onto the tent, destroying it.

Courtney starts shouting at me, and who was there to protect me? Duncan. Thanks Geoff... I'm sorry, he would've done it if he was in position and Duncan wouldn't have if it was anyone other than her. Wait, he would have. He cares for me. He knows me. He likes me. He... Cares

And she was all over him in the morning, so I was all over him at night. Well I would've been, but she was right in his other side. I'd be lying if I said I didn't consider voting for her. It crossed my mind so much. But it would be dishonest. She didn't deserve to leave. No matter how much I want her gone.

I'm in trouble.

Bridge

Entry 6

Dear Diary,

Another loss. I was rather sad to see Tyler go. He wasn't the only one of us that didn't face their fears. Me and Courtney included... I still can't vote for her yet... Sorry Tyler...

I'd like to thank Cody for making me lose my challenge. The little kid couldn't diffuse a time bomb. His fault for not having an actual fear, in my opinion. But at least I got to see Courtney get scared by green jelly. That was entertaining.

Apparently Duncan had to hug a Celine Dion music store standee. I mean, she's weird looking, but scary? No... Well, we all have our things, Geoff's being hail, and I'm rather upset I missed that. Sounded funny.

Trent left Gwen underground, buried alive. I don't think he meant to, he's not that sort of guy, and he has such an obvious crush on her. Gwen's a reasonable person, she can forgive him, they'll be fine.

I wish I had it so easy

Night,

Bridge

Entry 7

Dear Diary,

Today Geoff finally decided to make a move. And he gave me the ugliest gift I've ever seen. I mean, oh God, it was terrible. Awful. But I kept it. Well, I broke it and then fixed it. Geoff's a nice enough guy. I can see us working out. If he wants to, I can go along with it.

I've been all friendly with Courtney recently, and I feel so guilty. I'm usually rather open with my feelings to people... With both Courtney and Duncan this summer, I've been too secret, and I just... I'm sorry. To everyone.

Geoff got 'injured' today. Well, he got a splinter. Everyone was making such a big deal of it, so I played along. I'll admit it kind of annoyed me how he really overplayed it, but I... No, I don't have to. Maybe I should just tell him I have my eye on someone else.

Okay, Courtney wants to see this. That's not happening.

Night,

Bridge

Entry 8

Dear Diary,

Woohoo! Another victory for the Killer Bass. Okay, so this one may have been a bit less earned than some others, but we all did so well. The Gophers kicked Cody, and that seems unfair. The only thing he did wrong was get mauled by a bear. Sorry dude.

I must say, though: Owen is beginning not only to annoy me, but to disgust me. Who makes that much stench? I think he actually has problems... Why can't he be kicked off?

Harold's becoming kind of cool recently. I mean, he's helped us win challenges but he actually helped me today, and that's cool. Thanks to Geoff for being with me and him the whole time and not helping as much as Harold. He does understand that one lousy money box isn't gonna get me to be his girlfriend, right?

Well, Duncan's done less, but he'd still get me. It was so funny seeing him dressed as a deer. It was so adorable, like, Christmas card worthy. He and Courtney got attached at the antlers, which would've been funny if she wasn't so harsh on him. He did not deserve what she did to him. She needs to learn respect. And he's still gonna be smitten with her... Why?

Am I doing anything wrong?

Night,

Bridge

Entry 9

Dear Diary,

We won again! Yay! We did do a great job, but it was really the Gophers completely falling apart that won this for us. I apologise to Heather's victims too much, but sorry Beth. You should still be here. Why can't Heather just go?

Back on our team? I finally give Geoff a good shot, and he messes it up again. I look like one of his friends' hot mom? Ugh! Damnit Geoff, fight for me! Maybe you're too busy being mean to Harold?

I don't appreciate all the guys' constant meaness to him. He's a good guy, and he's helped us all. Maybe he does leave his 'crusty undies' all over the place, but what they did? A bit too far. Actually, to be fair, that last one was funny. Good job. No! I shouldn't say that...

Courtney's all over Duncan still. Soon I'll get her off... Soon. Why can't she treat him like an actual person? Like, appreciate that someone somehow likes your uptight, annoying butt! C'mon Duncan! You're better than that... Notice me...

Geoff's nice enough I guess...

Bridge.

Entry 10

Dear Diary,

So we lost again... It doesn't matter, it's not like Sadie was doing much around here anyway. That just happened to be just about the least important thing today. Sorry...

So, yeah. Geoff and I won our challenge and went swimming. He's a cool guy. And in that moment I felt like I could be finally truly falling for him. I was over Duncan. But then he let Bunny get eaten. It wasn't really his fault, but I couldn't help but feel so guilty afterwards... Poor DJ, he didn't have a good day today. You'll get 'em next time big guy.

I said, 'in that moment' I fell for Geoff. Well, it lasted a few minutes maybe. It truly fell to pieces when Duncan caught another Bunny for DJ. That was such a sweet thing to do. I even blushed at the prospect of him doing something like that, when he returned to the final challenge.

But then Courtney is all over him before I get my chance to mention what he did. God! She's becoming so much worse. Or maybe I'm just now noticing all she's been doing. She pushed him over at the beginning of the day, and I can't tell if he was smirking at me or her when he got up. Probably her.

I've taken to sitting as close to him as possible during fireplace ceremonies. It means he looks at me when he needs confirmation of "Did that just happen?" Or "That was funny, right?" It's cute. I love it. He doesn't catch me glancing at him. I hope.

I'm still an awful liar.

Night,

Bridge

Entry 11

Dear Diary,

She kissed him. She actually kissed him. I... I feel so numb... Why? I know, it was probably going to happen anyway, right? But why? Why? Why? Why!? I feel empty, like a part of me's gone. Geoff, I think we'll be seeing a lot more of each other...

She got eliminated as well, meaning I'm the last female member of the Killer Bass. Just me and the guys. I know I voted for her, but I didn't expect her to go! How did Harold survive? Duncan said that he, DJ and Geoff definitely didn't vote for her... Did Harold cheat?

Worst thing is: it was an actually interesting challenge today. Chef took over all the hosting duties. I... I thought I'd do better. That sentence pretty much sums up the whole season so far... I'll admit I did enjoy Duncan's constant fight against Chef's authority... I wish I was still in and awake when he was sent to the boathouse... He would've kissed me, not Courtney...

Why?

Bridge.

Entry 12

Dear Diary,

So one more loss leaves us on just four players. I don't know how long we'll have to keep going as a team. Surely we have to merge soon? That'll be cool, I guess. It means I can actually have some company, and I would be so happy to be able to talk to Gwen more. She's a pretty chill friend.

I know I said I'd be seeing more of Geoff, but that wasn't the way I imagined it... Did he really have to show me his tattoo, after really lowering my respect for him? Who doesn't know what a haiku is? And who thinks a tattoo or peeing into snow is romantic?

I must say, for all the respect I lose for Geoff, I gain some for DJ. I said at the very beginning the dude was chill, and he's still an awesome guy. I'm glad I made a friend like that. Means this experience wasn't a total waste.

Gwen and I found a love letter. Eventually it turned out it was Harold to Leshawna, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't consider the option that it might have been Geoff, or even Duncan... Geoff disproved himself early on, but Duncan? I ruled him out automatically due to pessism and him and Courtney's... Thing. I swear I caught him checking me out once or twice... Should I ask? Is he technically single? Am I?

So many questions. Only one way to find out.

Night,

Bridge

Entry 13

Dear Diary,

So the merge has finally arrived! I'm so excited to have made it this far. And we finally had a non-elimination challenge! The only problem: the girls cannot get along! It's effectively Leshawna and Gwen vs Heather and Lindsay. And I'm now stuck in the middle of it all... And I don't know if I can live with Heather for too much longer.

Oh, and the challenge! Eating a bunch of disgusting foods, some of which weren't even foods. I'm feeling sick just thinking about it again. Not only did us girls manage to lose, and miss out on a spa day, but I went against my vegetarian principles. I almost had to eat dolphin. Thanks to DJ for really saving me there, on purpose or not. A spa day would've been nice though...

Geoff was really sweet today, helping me without hesitation, of course. We almost kissed today. Chris stopped that... Maybe that was a good thing. I still don't think I'm ready for this. I'm over Duncan... Yeah, totally. It's just... Geoff will take some time to get used to... He's not really... I don't know... I... I don't know

I'm feeling better though. I'll do something about this tomorrow.

Night,

Bridge

Entry 14

Dear Diary,

Today was a total nightmare! Eva returned, and seemed to be after my head. What did I do? The other Bass voted her off too... At least, I think they did. Some must have, or she wouldn't have been kicked off...

On the girls' side, I think I can see myself being friends with Leshawna and Gwen. Leshawna's always there to help me, and I've talked about Gwen already. Lindsay's nice, when she's not under Heather's control. She is not. I've said I'd rather be eliminated than go up against her... That may come true soon. And Izzy... Well... She's nuts...

For the guys, Geoff was awfully sweet to me again, taking my first challenge for me. I'm growing more attracted to him every minute. I feel something. Something warm. Fuzzy. Fulfilling.

One problem. Duncan said that he missed Courtney when he did his vote for elimination. My heart sank so low when he said that. Like, why? "I'm over him!" I thought. Well, what is there to be over? A stupid girly crush. I'm stronger than that. Oh, but it gets worse... While we all had a small 'party' in Leshawna's cabin, I went outside to get some fresh air. Someone came up behind me, and put a hand on my shoulder. Originally I thought it was Geoff. But then Duncan spun me around. "Hey gorgeous" he said. Then he kissed me...

I felt... So wonderful. The best I've ever felt. Like my heart was on fire, bursting through my chest. Like I was riding the biggest waves off the coast of Malibu. When he broke the kiss, he smiled, and returned to the party. I stopped, and stared as he went back inside. I think he may be playing a more secret game than I thought. He's being smart... Not what I expected.

When Geoff came out, I ran back to my cabin, and now I'm writing this.

When will my problems end?

Bridge

Entry 15

Dear Diary,

I couldn't stop thinking about what happened last night... I told Geoff I was just feeling sick, and he forgave me for running off. Said it was "Cool". Everything is cool with him...

Heather kissed Trent down by the Dock of Shame. Because of this Leshawna convinced everyone to vote off one of them, and since Heather got invinciblity, Trent was eliminated. I'm sorry Trent, that really wasn't fair. If I'd known the full story, I wouldn't have voted for you... Sorry, man.

I think last night really threw me off my game. It didn't help when Duncan kept winking at me every time I looked at him. Man, I just want to rip his smug, arrogant, attractive... Oh no...

No, I can deal with this. Ain't no problem.

Night,

Bridge

Entry 16

So I was finally voted off... I'd like to say it was a surprise... But I knew. Before the girls and I decided who to boot, Duncan came up to me. He kissed me on the cheek, and said he didn't mind the smell. I was completely speechless. He smirked, and told me he was going to get the guys to vote me off.

He said it was to cover up his feelings. To stop me getting between the guys. It would be a convincing vote. Nothing suspicious, and an obvious decision. I understood. He apologised and left. He apologised! Duncan, saying sorry!? I tried to say something. I don't know what it would've been. But I tried.

When the girls came to decide, I immediately chose Duncan. He was also an obvious choice, and a good way to hide my feelings. It would be the exact same reasons, except I'm sure none of the other girls still have feelings for him. They believe he still likes Courtney.

But when Heather suggested Owen, I smacked myself. Why didn't I just say Owen? He's so annoying and disgusting! I didn't need Duncan off yet. Maybe it would be a good thing if one of us left though. It would give me time to express my feelings for Geoff, and clear my head... Yeah, this is good.

Well, I'm writing this in the cabin instead of packing. Everyone's leaving me be with the skunk scent, so I can take as long as I want. I'll start packing now.

Goodbye Total Drama Island

Bridge.

Entry 17

Dear Diary,

I completely forgot this diary, and left it in the cabin when I was eliminated. So much has happened since then!

First, when I was kicked off, they took me to a resort called Playa des Losers. Maybe it isn't the nicest name, but it sure is a nice place. Beaches, edible food, and all my eliminated friends. It was so much fun. All I had to do all day was swim around, eat and generally live the good life.

It got so much better when DJ arrived with his bunny. Dude can party when he wants, and we have such interesting conversations. Friend for life right there.

A few days later, Geoff arrived as well. The first thing he did was kiss me. Finally. We haven't done much else since then. We were finally turning into a couple. My life was so great, I made up with some people, like Trent, and I got to know some new people. Ezekiel's not a nice guy though. A bit pervy, and he keeps trying to get close to me even when I'm with Geoff. Glad we kicked him out first.

No, it was great. But I didn't have this diary to write it all down. No, I got this back when Duncan was eliminated. On the night he was booted, he knocked on my door at around two in the morning. He didn't say anything, just came in when I opened the door, and sat on my bed. I was too tired to argue, and shut the door, waiting for an explanation.

He showed me the diary, and smirked. Said he'd read it when Chef had stopped messing with him on the boat ride back. He said he appreciated all I had to say about him. I told him I was over him, and that I was with Geoff now. He reminded me of how many times I said that in here.

I sighed, and he came up to me and put his hands on my shoulders. I looked into his eyes. He looked genuinely sad and humble. He told me he understood. He felt the same way. My stomach did somersaults and was full of butterflies at the same time.

But then he said that we couldn't be. We'd spent so much time hiding our feelings that we couldn't possibly let our true feelings out. I said we could. Courtney and Geoff would understand. He shook his head.

He said "We can't. This isn't something we can just announce and tell everyone we've been lying to them. Geoff loves you. Courtney loves me. No matter what we feel, we have to love them... I don't want it. You don't want it. But it's what's right."

Those were his exact words. He was right. Of course I have feelings for Geoff. I think he has feelings for Courtney. If we let each other go, we could make our other relationships work. We're just sixteen. Who says we have to stay with those guys forever? Who says we won't eventually be together?

We can. We will. I believe it. Just let him go. Love Geoff. I can do that.

I agreed with him. He looked at me. I can't tell if he was remorseful, scared or just tired. But I'll never forget him, and the way he looked tonight. He kissed me, and I kissed back, forcing him onto my bed. I would make the most out of this forbidden love. He broke the kiss. Told me we couldn't. We could tonight, I said. No one will know. Just one night. To let it all go.

He shook his head. He just said no, and kissed me again. What does he mean, I thought. Then he picked me up, and pushed me against the wall. We shared a long passionate kiss. Then he broke again, kissed me on the forehead, and said goodbye. He let me down to the floor gently and left the room. I thought I saw him crying. I hope he didn't see me crying.

After that, I sat up and watched the door for another twenty minutes or so. Then I turned on a light and wrote this. My final diary entry.

My problems should be over. Are they? I believe they are. Well, I hope so. With Duncan out of the way, I can love Geoff with all myself. He'll be with Courtney tomorrow. He's better at hiding his feelings and what he knows than me. Comes with the criminal record, I suppose.

I can deal with this. I am strong. I am pure. I am in love with Geoff. I am perfectly happy, and happily perfect. Thank you for letting me have this experience Total Drama Island.

Thank you.

Bridge


End file.
